Lauren was the heir apparent to the Chopard family empire, but it was becoming apparent that he was unsuited for nearly every facet of the business he would some day take over. (Pun intended) The arts of watch and jewelry making require the utmost precision and patience. Lauren had neither. A few semesters in higher education had educated him in all the substances to get high. The entire faculty united in demanding Lauren’s explulsion.
Everyone understood that he should not be given a position in the finance side, since no one could trust him not to help himself to the firm’s finances.
The marketing department however had seemed a safe haven in which to place him. However, his introduction of himself to the models had been so alarming that they ran to the EEOC for protection. and the EEOC was about to introduce a new ruling that even models should be free from such harassment, particularily 15 year old models, as had been scheduled to be sapphires for this particular photoshoot.
Lauren’s cousin, who worked in the legal department had to quickly step in with a settlement including guaranteed tuition through college and medical school (when the model turned old enough to apply) an immediate cash bonus, and emerald jewelry sets for the girl and her mother and, of course, a non-disclosure agreement.
In short, every effort to bring young Lauren into the business had been a bust.
Then Lauren was busted, with such vast amounts of cocaine, so many full of dubious prescriptions and shopping bags of weed, that even the general counsel had a hard time convincing the prosecutor that Lauren had neither the skill nor drive to be a dealer, and this really was all for Lauren’s personal use. As a condition of very high bail, Lauren would have to get a job. Since he was unemployable by anyone else, this meant he would have to be given a job, somewhere else in the company
Well, at least he could be stuck in the fragrance department. After the lousy sales of Madness and other launches, he really can’t do any worse. Frightened by the potential of a long sentence. Lauren actually did prepare for his first meeting with the firm’s nose; he spent all night reading the ads of every other perfume. He then raided his hidden stashes to find everything he could take to stay awake for the meeting.
In the meeting, (at the ungodly early hour of 1:00 p.m. the next day), Lauren gave a brief listing every single note and word, he could remember from the night’s “research”: Opium, Amber, vanilla, pineapple, mango, vanilla, spice, amber, Opium, oriental, vanilla, incense, smoke, chypre, vanilla, seductive, mystery, vanilla…”
So that is what the perfumer came back with.
Wonderful, Lauren cried, but I can’t quite smell it. The nose refrained from pointing out that Lauren’s sense of smell may have been impaired by years of luxuriating in cocaine, and agreed to amp it up.
Lauren doused himself in an entire bottle of final juice to show the judge he really had accomplished something professionally for his next hearing. The overwhelmed Judge ordered Laruen’s immediate release, “I mean immediate, like get out of this Court Room in ten seconds before I choke.”
SOTD: Casmir. Which is actually a great winter scent, for when you really need a PERFUME. The first couple of hours are everything on top of vanilla. It then settles down to a kind of incensey vanilla, and then down to a few hours more of vanilla without ever quite getting sweet.
PS: Given the billion dollar defamation suits filed last week, let me state the obvious. The above review is completely fictional. This story states nothing true about the ownership or management of the company or brand Choppard or the EEOC or our judicial system. I assume that there, was at least once, a jeweler named Choppard who started a business, but I have no idea if there is still such a family or if it is connected with the brand. If there is someone named Lauren Choppard, I never met him and know nothing about him.